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Dishy Rishi Dishes Dosh Not Dishes, Dashing Wishes

Written by Samurai Robots.

Our hard-working MPs recently received a pay rise of £3,300, bringing their remuneration to over £85,000 a year. Some of us on the right get accused of grifting, but, holy shit, we really are amateurs by comparison. IPSA, who review MP’s salaries, stated the reason behind the increase was “the huge economic uncertainties arising from the coronavirus pandemic”. Well, yeah, if I put all my money on black at the casino, my future may well be uncertain, but there are those who would argue that any ensuing hardship is my own fucking fault.

You might have thought that basically doing the equivalent of swimming, Scrooge McDuck-style, in vast pools of money after a year of demanding that the rest of us clap even as we lose our jobs and businesses might – bear with me here, I know this is crazy – not exactly be peak optics. Still, some Labour MPs offered to donate the increase to “charity” so I suppose the local rent boys will be happy at least.

Meanwhile, the government recently came under fire for a campaign urging people worried about their employment prospects to retrain in “cyber”, whatever that is. In one poster, we saw Fatima, a dusky ballerina, and the message that “Fatima’s next job could be in cyber (she just doesn’t know it yet)”. Other posters followed much the same format, with various other vocations and ethnicities. The cack-handed campaign rightfully received much mockery online, with one tweeter suggesting that, faced with such an imminent tidal wave of competition, cyber experts might want to consider retraining as ballet dancers. Ultimately, the campaign was cancelled like an academic with integrity.

Lefties later clumsily attempted to capitalise by twisting the original adverts to make fun of Tory politicians. “Rishi’s next job could be in Wagamama”, they crowed on one poster. Sometimes, well, quite frequently actually, the mask of sanity slips and the left’s sneering contempt for the working class really shines through. “Ew, working in Wagamama like a filthy peasant, imagine the shame! I’d simply die!”. I daresay working in a restaurant is a more useful trade than being a cunt on Twitter, or a diversity officer, or whatever it is leftists do. Presumably restaurants would all become dole offices under a Labour regime and the currency would be old cabbages.

Hilarious eh?

I can’t help but think that White liberals often seem to see non-whites as a servant class, good only for serving lattes and voting left. As I write this, Malala is trending on Twitter where hordes of woke blue checkmarks are denouncing her “for being a Tory”. I’m reminded also of Kelly Osbourne’s well-meaning racism when she forgot for a moment that she’s a talentless birdbrain, who’s semi-famous only because of her parents, and defended Latino immigrants from the vile Trump by asking indignantly: if you kick out all the Latinos, who is going to be cleaning your toilet? I’m sure that line sounded great in her head: “Checkmate, fascists!”

One moment, these people, to borrow a Collett-ism, are presenting themselves as the saviours of the working class and non-whites and in the next they’re raging against any of above that dare to make something of themselves and have the wrong opinions. My point is not so much that liberals are “the real racists” – I’d like to think the dissident right can claim that title at least – but that they’re fucking arseholes.

Now, the affable and affluent Mr Rishi Sunak mentioned above as a target of leftist ire was formerly the head of his own hedge fund firm. In addition, Rishi’s missus is the daughter of an Indian billionaire. He is thought to be the wealthiest person in the House of Commons, which as you may imagine, is no small feat. It’s said that his bank balance has more numbers in it than a Diane Abbott interview. Whatever the case, he’s considerably Rishi-er than you.

The chances of dishy Rishi doing the unwashed dishes at Wagamama – which incidentally means selfish in Japanese – are therefore pretty low, not least of all because there probably won’t be many restaurants left after the lockdown finishes. I suspect we’re all going to be packing boxes for Amazon by next summer, and maybe even living in them afterwards. A total banker he may be, but Rishi does at least appear to be trying to help the no longer working class, albeit with taxpayer money and via his restaurateur mates. Not completely wagamama then, unlike the Kelly Osbournes of the world.

Far from working as a wagie, Sunak is the betting pick to be our next PM, after Bojo the clown inevitably gets the boot. Imagine being a White Labour supporter and thinking you can attack the Tories using identity politics – “You hate women and brown people!” – when the so-called nasty party has already thrashed Labour in the oppression Olympics by having two female Prime Ministers to Labour’s zero. How dumb can you be? Half the cabinet is non-White and some appear to be lizards for god’s sake.

Identity politics gives us a bunch of useful idiots attacking politicians like Priti Patel, who would struggle to run a bath, let alone an advanced economy, not for being the incompetent moron she so clearly is, but for being a racist. Not only are they arseholes, but they’re also dum-dums who constantly find themselves hoisted on their own retarded petard. I mean, let’s not forget that Kier Starmer is just another pale, stale male. What the hell can he possibly say against Rishi, a noble Person of Colour? That he didn’t splurge quite enough taxpayer cash on free meals? I fear Kier’s only option when Rishi takes over will be to come out as trans and do PMQs in a dress.

Rishi does have a problem though, and by Rishi I mean us. It’s not the Left, it’s that the government has no money. But Sam-san, I hear you say, of course the government has no money, they only have our money – well, there’s none of that either. It gets worse: what we call “money” is actually debt – this is quite an odd concept to get your head around. Rishi has been praised for his “creative solution” to the problem his colleagues created, in the form of the Eat Out to Help Out scheme. A cynic might say that a truly creative solution would be to not throw money at the problem. If I set my rottweiler on you and call him off just as he’s finishing up gnawing off your arm, it’s a bit cheeky to then prance around acting like I saved the day.

Continuous money printing, aka quantitative brrrr-ing, has been the “new normal” since around 2008. Infinite debt, infinite growth, infinite insanity. The more our central banks print out, the less we seem to have. Now, it’s not entirely fair to blame all this on Rishi (whose name in Japanese somewhat ironically means “interest” – as in what we are going to be paying on all this debt). The Fed and other central banks are of course leading the way. Endless money printing works until it doesn’t, as many civilisations have found out to their cost. It certainly makes the rich richer and everyone else angrier and more likely to vote for retarded communists.

We are now facing an unprecedented economic downturn due to the lockdown measures. Notice I don’t say due to Covid – the virus didn’t force people to close their businesses. That was the Tories, of all people, in case you’ve forgotten. Labour, far from protesting the tyranny and the destruction, say they haven’t gone far enough. Admittedly, it’s tricky to pin Labour down on what their policies actually are, or on what day it is, or on anything involving numbers higher than ten. When both parties agree on something, you can be certain that it’s a horrible idea. It’s not much better in the US, where the political parties seem to be competing in a game of chicken with the national debt. Still, they all have guns so I’m sure things will be alright.

Making predictions is hard, especially about the future, but we are very likely to see such things as negative interest rates and central bank digital currencies before too long. A move to a cashless society, and maybe a state-controlled UBI, is also on the horizon. This is not good for nationalists, who are already having their bank accounts shut down for wrong-think. If you’re one of us, you must begin to take an interest in these matters so I’m going to end with a call to action here, which is to prepare now for what’s coming. Educate yourself about finance, and when you think you’ve done that, educate yourself some more. When you understand how money works, you will start to understand the world. Who knows…

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