Written by Cathugger.
There were a lot of discussions lately about what it is that means a virtuous woman and what women could do to cultivate their femininity. Men were pushed to be softer while women were pushed to be harder so how can women address this in themselves especially in a time in which femininity is equated with weakness? I think cultivating the virtues I am about to describe could be a good aim for every woman to aspire to.
Women have a natural ability of care for themselves and for others, this ability one is closely related with selflessness which is also a virtue. Caring for others means helping those who need you without expecting anything in return, sometimes even without being asked. It means looking out for your neighbor, to offer them to water their roses and weed their garden if they are old, maybe to bake a cake and just bring it over, to offer to look after your neighbours children if they should ever need it, caring for others means seeing what they might need before they actually need it. Ask yourself how you can use your abilities to brighten up and improve the life of those around you. If you actively care for the people in your surrounding you will strengthen your community, thereby you, just by yourself can change the way the entire neighborhood interacts with each other. Caring for one self means caring for one’s health, eating right, and dressing in an appropriate fashion, it also means respecting ones own boundaries and not allowing others to violate them.
Being gentle with yourself, the people around you and the environment shows great strength of character, self-control and empathy especially if you are able to stay gentle in a heated argument. This is one of the hardest virtues to achieve for most women including myself. Being gentle does not just mean speaking softly and using kind language, it means using soft communication methods. Being gentle means aiming towards resolving conflicts without causing any unnecessary harm to your counterpart especially not in retaliation for their behaviour towards you. This does not mean not standing up for yourself in defense of your needs and your boundaries, it just means not doing it in a masculine forceful manner, it means doing it with a lot of emotional intelligence in a way that hopefully resolves positively for all who are involved so that there is no animosity left and all parties are happy. Being gentle means turning enemies into friends. Gentleness means being honest with your needs, it means not saying “it’s nothing” if something bothers you untill it bursts out of you in a tirade of accusations. Gentleness means addressing problems in a smart and in a timely manner to avoid harm.
Discipline and endurance
This one is obviously important for both sexes but it plays different roles in their life. For the woman, who in most cases will be the one who has the main control over the home, it means doing the tasks that are tedious without complaining, putting them off and without becoming bitter about them. It means doing the things that have to be done without considering their impact on your mood may it be positive or negative. Being self disciplined is the basis to be able to cultivate ones innate abilities and the basis of self discipline is self honesty. People should never lie to themselves, being dishonest with oneself withers the character and it kills your future self. Having these virtues is central to enable you to create a lovely home in which all inhabitants feel happy, relaxed and can self-actualize.
Women have an innate sense of beauty and have the ability to turn a house into a home by adding their own essence and taste to it. A man might never buy a decorative pillow, but he will appreciate it. Beauty means also beautifying yourself, and a woman who puts appropriate care into her appearance will be treated with more care and respect than both someone who is slobby and someone who is over the top vain. Women should present themselves as they would want to be perceived, as appearance it is also a form of communication. A woman dressed neatly and respectable has an aura of esteem and worth around her that should not be underestimated. The feminine woman also loves to decorate and to bring happiness into her surroundings. She keeps her home clean orderly and beautiful.
Sense of Community
Women are gifted with being more sensitive in social interactions, they on average can read the person they are talking to better which they can use to increase the harmony and wellbeing in their community. This strongly correlates with gentleness which they can use to resolve oncoming sources of conflict calmly in a way that both parties are heard before any real damage happens. The female sense of community is fundamental in maintaining productive and healthy circle of acquaintances.
Awareness of the Pitfalls of Femininity
Female vices are envy, jealousy, greed, vanity and competitive behaviour. Women should be aware of them and should show enough self-control to never allow any of their weaknesses of character to become a burden on their family and community, self-control and self honesty are crucial to achieve the mastery over them. A good woman is an anchor to her community and someone people can look up to and feel inspired by.
Giving yourself to a man not just physically but mentally. To be courageous enough to allow yourself to rely on him and to allow him to rely on you. To trust that this man will lead you well not out of naivete but out of having earned faith in him. Women are nature itself since they decide which man will gain the gift of immortality through them. Their Wombs comtain the future and because of this it is important for a woman to be very careful in her decision which man she will elevate to being a father. If they found a good man, who honors them in their femininity and in their abilities, who speaks respectfully about them to his friends when she is not around, who is willing to physically defend her and their children should the need arise, who is willing to care for her should she fall ill, to this man a woman should grant the space to actualize his masculine virtues like leadership. Important for this is of course finding a man who in absolute certainty wants the best for his woman, who can lead and isn’t a pushover, who will be honest with her even if his honesty might be painful to her right now but will prevent further harm down the road. Such a man deserves his womans full dedication and a woman giving her full dedication to her man deserves his full respect.