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Nazi vs Zombie: Election Boogaloo

Written by Samurai Robots.

American politics may well be little more than reality TV for people who’ve managed to work out that pro-wrestling is fake, but most of the world is currently glued to their computer screens in anticipation of the latest presidential election on November 3rd, which will see Americans go to the ballots to decide if a feisty Biden finally gets to say “you’re fired!” or if Trump ultimately comes from behind to knock sleepy Joe out and claim the title of God-Emperor once more. Is it all rigged? Duh, yes. Who’s going to win? Undoubtedly not us, but let’s take a closer look and try to separate the kayfabe and the reality.

Despite being a man who takes the word vice in vice-president a bit too literally, Joseph R. Biden is presently doing well in the polls and many political pundits seem convinced he will be the one to clinch the race to the White House. Donald J. Trump supporters, however, dismiss the polls as wrong, as they were in 2016, and are convinced their guy will see off the challenger. Biden is an extremely weak candidate who appears to be suffering from cognitive decline. He’s a mush-mouthed zombie and it’s not clear he even understands where he is or what he’s supposed to be doing. On balance, Hillary Clinton was probably worse, but “not a Clinton” is hardly a ringing endorsement of the man. Even among a weak field, Biden wasn’t particularly strong in the primaries and his candidacy appears to be based on the will of the party higher-ups rather than any great enthusiasm from the general public.

His VP pick, Kamala Harris, who before this was mostly known for locking Californians up for smoking weed, was chosen for her gender and ethnicity (faux-African American) rather than her charm and debate skills. Harris is probably the last person I would trust to do anything, unless perhaps the task in question involved stabbing me while my back was turned. The one time the woman inadvertently spoke the truth was when she called Joe Biden a racist in the primary debates. Nevertheless, it’s likely she would soon take over from the ailing Biden were he to win the election, indeed, even Biden himself has admitted he’s Harris’s running mate, and not the other way around.

Despite his short-comings, the media as a whole supports Biden and never misses an opportunity to attack Trump, having spent the last four years accusing Trump of almost everything you can think of. Biden has the backing of big tech companies such as Google, Facebook, Reddit, and Twitter, who routinely block news stories unfavourable to their preferred candidate. His crack-huffing son, Hunter Biden, makes Patrick Bateman look like a choirboy and is apparently employed chiefly to collect money obtained through corrupt deals with China and Ukraine on behalf of his child-sniffing pa, which is a story the lügenpresse would be all over, if he were one of Trump’s offspring. Early voting patterns also seem to favour Biden, but Republicans are known for voting religiously for their team on the day.

Trump, on the other hand, inspires both love and hate, having transformed himself in 2016 from a well-known reality TV star and tycoon into Adolf Hitler reincarnated. His record is a mixed bag; he failed to fulfil several signature promises such as locking Hillary Clinton up or draining the swamp, which seems just as creature-filled and fetid as ever. The so-called alt-right have been largely let down and disappointed by Trump, who has stubbornly refused to take the side of his own supporters, preferring to chase the elusive black vote instead. If only, they lament, Trump was half the monster the left claims he is. There can be no doubt however, that the deep state has sought to thwart Trump at every turn.

On the plus side, he didn’t start any major wars and the economy did well under his guidance, at least initially. Trump also installed no fewer than three supreme court judges, the last one coming as a result of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s failure to leave gracefully during the Obama years. The influence of these judges will be felt long after Trump departs and the amount of salt resulting from the appointments of Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett has been of particular delight to those of us on the right.

Trump has attempted to style himself as the law-and-order candidate following various race riots around America. It’s unclear how much of a factor this will be, but you would assume that association with the rioters harms the Democrats more than Trump and it seems unlikely any Republican will be cowed into voting Democrat by the threat of more mayhem at more mostly peaceful protests should Trump prevail. Of course, the main story of 2020 has been the coronavirus and associated economic damage due to the lock down. This, I think, has hurt Trump. Were it not for the pandemic, I believe Trump would have walked this election. Even so, I personally lean toward a Trump victory, but I’m man enough to admit that I don’t know for sure what will happen.

That said, let’s cast our incantations, slaughter our goats, and examine possible futures after the upcoming US election.

Trump Ree-election

I sometimes wonder if liberals would be more upset by Trump triumphing via a landslide or by the narrowest of margins? Given that the media has once more led the left to believe the election is in the bag for them, I would expect more than a few nervous breakdowns in the event of a yuge victory. A close call through the electoral college after losing the popular vote is more likely and could see battles in the courts and possibly even the streets, neither of which will be won by the left.

What liberals think will happen – The arrest of Trump’s political opponents on trumped up charges. White people beating up non-whites and homosexuals. Christians oppressing Muslims. The transformation of the U.S. into a fascist, Gilead-style dystopia in which women are enslaved and forcibly impregnated by vile right-wing Incels. Trump ripping up the constitution to allow for a third term. In short, total projection basically, as usual.

What will actually happen – Sadly, comedy will continue to be shit jokes about dumb right-wing Christians and “muh orange man bad, rite guys?” Despite this, we’ll at least be able to laugh at bed-wetting leftists. We’ll see more anti-white movies in Hollywood. Celebrities who claimed (again) that they would emigrate to Canada will (again) fail to do so. Formerly respected intellectuals like Sam Harris will be placed on suicide watch, along with Cenk Uygur and Nate Silver. The Democrats will blame Russian meddling (again). I expect them to double down (again) on their anti-white agenda rather than trying to honestly figure out why they lost. Bernie will run (again) in 2024. In short, the new normal.

If Biden Abides

To me, Biden winning would be a clear demonstration that, to cannibalise a meme, we really didn’t know how bad things really are. A Biden win would be a victory for the deep state and for the globalists who detest anyone who dares to call themselves a nationalist. Biden himself would quickly be shunted aside for Kamala Harris. It’s unlikely Biden would last a year; win or lose, he doesn’t have long left.

We would likely see measures to prevent future Trumps coming along and spoiling the new world order, which could include abolishing the electoral college, expanding the supreme court, citizenship for illegal immigrants, inventing new states, and so on. I would assume that the left would not simply be content to defeat Trump at the ballot box and would look to vindictively attack him through the courts, smear his name, and destroy any legacy he might have built. Interestingly, one possibility is that Trump has some kind of “dead man’s switch” to open a Pandora’s box of incriminating information on his enemies, to be released in the event they go after him or his family. He could even pardon Julian Assange as a parting gift.

The country would move irrevocably towards full-on Marxism through increased immigration and it’s unlikely that it would be salvageable from that point on. Honestly, it’s unclear if America can be saved even if Trump is re-elected. It’s not out of the question therefore that we could move towards the eventual break-up of the United States into separate states. Libertarians like Stephan Molyneux like to tell us that we can have open borders or a welfare system, but not both, but the truth is that any country with no borders will not remain a country for long.

Ree-ckoning Day

As an Englishman, I feel quite lucky to be able to watch the election from quite some distance away. Not that we can gloat too smugly as we have plenty of our own problems. Still, from a UK perspective, I’d much rather have Trump in the White House. While a fierce negotiator, he at least seems friendly with the UK and Boris Johnson (a man who may himself be on borrowed time), while Democrats like Nancy Pelosi appear to hate us for daring to leave the EU. My fingers are certainly crossed for a Trump victory, but I rather suspect that the name Trump won’t be going away anytime soon even if he loses. Whatever happens, we will be entertained and Antifa will still be disgusting degenerate deadbeat losers who can’t get girlfriends. God bless America!

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